This Week for Happy Hour: High Fives and Guilty Pleasures

Today, the third Thursday in April, is National High Five Day!  High five!

Don't be shy.  I moisturize.

Let's face it: high fives are a guilty pleasure.  They feel so good and right sometimes, expressing a mutual feeling with another in a split second, an instant symbol of positive empathy.  But at the same time we know that they constitute a dumbed-down type of communication that's within the intellectual grasp of babies, Labradors, and even these guys:

So there are often mixed feelings associated with the the high five - a phenomenon that's more generally referred to as a "guilty pleasure."  And that's the topic of today's call to Happy Hour.

He feels guilt, but desire for pleasure drew him in.

Oh, guilty pleasures.  You strange beasts, you.  You make us laugh and smile.  Yet you make our stomachs knot and our minds revolt - just not quite enough to make us give you up.  That's why everyone has at least a few guilty pleasures.

I'll tell you right now (with some smiling shame) that the songs of The Bee Gees and Wham! make me want to dance like a toddler with a belly full of grocery store sheet cake.  Problem is, I know I'll suffer the same physiological and emotional crash after the high - same as the little kid.

Cake Drunk

And I'd be a bold-faced liar if I said that I don't give a heavy fist pump and a "woo!" when I see a bull fighter or a rodeo contestant open his mouth at just the wrong moment and find him himself scratching that itch at the back of his throat with the bony point of a bull horn - instant tonsillectomy service for the cost of some simple horn sucking.  Texas Health Care-style.

But then I think about the guys' families, and how they were probably just some ignorant saps who grew up in the wrong environment, or were maybe just compensating for their tragically small willies, or vying for attention from their neglectful fathers who were likewise emotionally inconsiderate of others because of the baby carrot-sized schwanz genes that run in their family. Or something.

But this is what I'm talking about, people: these mixed emotions.  The guilty pleasure in a nutshell.  Just like how you feel a little guilty right now for smirking at some poor cowboy/matador's zipper pinky.

And we come full circle back to high fives.  (Oddly enough, they are the second least subtle form of communication ever - second only to screaming into a bullhorn.)  Bit of a guilty pleasure, you'll admit.  But they don't have to be. All I'm saying is, if you're gonna high five, don't just go through the motions like some cliche caricature of a high school jock.  First down, routine high five.  So played, yo.  Instead, do it with some gusto and creativity and heart.

Here are some tips, when you're ready to take your high five to the next level:

We can better reach the stars, when we stand on the shoulders of giants:

Puddy:

 The Todd:

Barney:

Rhino is celebrating National High Five Day all weekend, starting tonight.  Here's the deal: anybody who comes in and impresses Nick or Matt tonight with a crisp, fresh high five gets a free shooter.  But you gotta shine.  Come in and let's see what you got.   Offer continues during Friday at Happy Hour, 5-9pm.  See you there!

High five,
Finnegan