This Week for Happy Hour: Friendsgiving

Happy Friendsgiving!

What's Friendsgiving?  Well, it's the chance to get together with the people you choose to be around for a celebration of thanks, of course. 

You may have noticed that Thanksgiving can be a little uncomfortable.  Not uncomfortable like the back seat of a Volkswagen, but, you know, awkward and a little less than pleasant.  Like when Aunt Janet asks Uncle Herb if he likes the turkey, and Uncle Herb says it's a little dry, and Aunt Janet suggests that next Thanksgiving Uncle Herb get his turkey from the Saigon whore he visited during the Vietnam War. 

Next thing you know, you're getting drunk for patience and cerebral liberation, instead of for fun and spiritual enlightenment.  And that just blows.

So there's Friendsgiving, a Thanksgiving supplement, every year during the weekend before Thanksgiving.  And we're popping it off during Happy Hour, half-price drinks and all.  Party starts at 5pm!

See you there.
Cheers!

This Week for Happy Hour: Mo-vember Rain

It’s that time of year again!  Mo-vember time.  Viva la mustache, join the mustache revolucion!

At this point, Movember has been around a while, and most know somebody who started wearing their first borderline ironic facial hair during the last few autumnal seasons.  But for those of you who aren’t in the know, here’s a quick recap.

Movember is a time (highly temporally correlated with the month of November) during which people (mostly men) grow mustaches to either a) boast thick, hyperactive lip follicles to ladies who will listen, or b) bring attention to a cause, men’s health or other.  It’s kind of analogous to walking laps around a track to bring attention to/fundraise for anything other than childhood obesity.  Except with the mustache, you also add a touch of flare. 

Ideally, as a mustache grower, you fall into a third category, the one that bridges those two aforementioned.  That would be where you get to enjoy the physical mustache in addition to raising money for a worthy cause.  [Seamless transition to Rhino’s Mo-vember Fundraising Event, otherwise known as NAMBLA.  We are raising money for Children’s National Medical Center, which provides medical services children who don’t have healthcare.  If you have extra a few extra bucks and a beating human heart, you can give at this link]:

http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/nick-bernel/m4kdc

So that’s why some folks say that Movember isn’t an ironic joke, any more than the “Save the Ta Ta’s” thing is a joke.  But I don’t understand why humor and healing sick kids, or boobies, or whatever, can’t all coexist.  You know?  Go ahead, do some good while you furry up your mouth-nostril connection, but also realize that you might cause people to laugh when they see your face. 

Which I like.  Partly because it is shavable.  And partly because I like the idea of keeping something that’s tongue-in-cheek right there next to my tongue and my cheek.  And partly because it makes me look like I have a sordid sexual history.  And partly because it makes you really appreciate the kind of guy who can rock the balls off the mustache look – really make it work for him.  (I’m looking at you, Wilford Brimley, postmaster general.)

So with no further ado (yet another seamless transition), I present to you: Rhino Bar Happy Hour Top Ten Mustaches of All Time Ever in History:

10.

Teddy Roosevelt

9.

Biker from the Village People

8.

Sam Elliott - his mustache smells like Sioux City Sasparilla

7.

Pancho Villa - Viva la mustache!

6.

Ned Flanders' mustachaleedoodalee

5.

Mark Twain - master tongue-in-cheeker

4.

Oates from Hall and Oates - or is that Simo?

3.

Tom Selleck - his mustache's name was Magnum

2.

Rollie Fingers - what a curve ball

1.

Wilford Brimley, the one and only.

Come celebrate the beginning of Movember at Rhino!  Half price Happy Hour today, 5-9pm.  Then American Football (I’m looking at you, Bill Cower) on Saturday and Sunday afternoons.

See you there!