This Week for Happy Hour: The Festival of Enormous Changes at the Last Minute

It’s the last Rhino Bar Happy Hour of 2011 – your last chance to get cheap tasties and a good buzz on before the Saturday clock strikes twelve and we officially enter the last year on the Mayan calendar!  Oh, the endless reasons to imbibe. 

So whatever you’ve got planned for 2012, put those designs on hold and get your hiney in a bar stool and drink in the moment while it lasts.  The enormity of next year can wait.  It’s still 2011, for liver’s sake. 

There are no resolutions today, only alcohol solutions.  And the New Year’s Eve rookies of tomorrow night won’t be there to bother us.  They’ll be home doing stretches and carbo-loading and listening to self-esteem tapes narrated by Stuart Smalley in the hope that they can survive another “night out.”  Blech. 

Which makes this happy hour among the best of the year.  Come celebrate pre-New Year’s at the Rhino Bar today, 5-9.  Half-priced drinks and food, and a stark absence of enormous changes begotten by temporal insignificance. 

Cheers!

P.S.  New Year’s Day will continue in this vein.  The bar will be rockin’ from noon until close, with a $20 open bar from 8-10pm and a complimentary champagne toast at midnight.  Get your drink on early so you don’t get stuck in bar traffic come the ball drop.  See you there!

This Week for Happy Hour: The Legend Continues

Half-price drinks at Rhino this Friday, 5-9, in honor of David Carradine’s birthday!

Sign language for "grasshopper."

David Carradine’s birthday was yesterday, December 8^th.  Sadly, the revered star of the 1970s TV series “Kung Fu” and the 1990s follow-up series “Kung Fu: The Legend Continues” died three years ago in Bangkok, Thailand when a foray into the pleasures of the flesh via autoerotic asphyxiation went terribly awry and he choked to death in his hotel room.  Presumably, his ladyboy prostitute accompaniment absconded with the previously agreed-upon fee, a lifetime of haunted dreams, and a story to share with the other Bankok cross-dressing prostis that, by now, has no doubt achieved legendary status.

Dudes.  And yeah, they have their own beauty contest.

But that’s neither here nor there, the terms of Carradine’s death.  Because, though the man has passed on, the legend continues.  As a wise old cowboy once said, “I guess that’s the way the whole durned human comedy keeps perpetuatin’ itself, down through the generations, westward the wagons, across the sands of time,” until sooner or later you find yourself a little further down the trail, sippin’ sasparilla and reflecting on those stories and memories that make this whole experience so interesting.

So Rhino Bar is celebrating Carradine’s birthday, Kung Fu, and legends in general – all that crap – at happy hour today.  Half-price drinks and food as usual, then the party continues all night upstairs.  It’s gonna be legendary!

The irony, of course, is not lost on me, the focus on legends and memories in a venue that exists in no small part to hinder the memory functions of the brain.  But don’t be a smart ass.  Just live it up, bitches, and don’t be afraid to explore the pleasures of the flesh via autoerotic intoxication.  And don’t worry.  Even if your memory doesn’t hold up, your legend will live on, gossipy ladyboys willing.

See you there!

Cheers!

P.S. Shout to Rosemary Clooney, who died under much less interesting circumstances but could make a living room curtain into a stylish evening gown with her eyes closed.

George Clooney's Aunt, seriously.