Be at the Rhino B&P from 5-9 this evening for a special celebration of January 20th, International Fetish Day! (Seriously, that’s a real holiday. Look it up.) All drinks and most food will be half-price, so if you have one of those beer or whiskey or Malibooty fetishes, now’s the time to satisfy your craving.
Do you know what a fetish is? I mean, can you define it? I kind of had an idea of what it means, having heard about different fetishes and deriving the meaning from context. Like when a girl falls asleep on a Greyhound bus from DC to NY and wakes up from her nap and the guy across the aisle wearing all corduroy is staring with his lazy eye at her flip-flop-clad feet, that would roughly be a foot fetish. But what does that really mean?
So I looked it up. A fetish is essentially something without which sexual gratification or expression is impossible or unachievable. So for that weirdo on the bus, he needs feet to be involved to be turned on. Which is cool, I guess, if folks are willing participants and all.
But it got me thinking about things that turn people on, and how that may or may not differ from a fetish. Alcohol, for instance, seems to somehow indirectly turn people on. Though it seems to be more a catalyst than the subject of desire. But that’s more or less what we’re talking about when we talk about fetishes: catalysts. With the foot example, for instance, a pair of severed, dead feet probably wouldn’t do the trick for the bus-riding peeping Tom. No, those feet need to be attached to somebody, who is really the subject. The fetish is the catalyst, right?
And that hypothetical pair of dead feet got me thinking even more, about how almost everyone needs life and social pairing for sexual gratification, and – stay with me here – even our personal, private parts are actually just objects of fetish on some level, not the subject of desire.
Think about it: all the parts that people want to kiss, lick, or put in their mouth for sexual gratification are the same parts that nobody wants to get near after they are dead. So, lips, vaginas, penises, assholes – these things are kissed, licked, and put into mouths all over the world every day by normal people. But then, for the meat-eaters of the world, lips, vaginas, penises, and anuses of, say, bulls or cows – those things are not fit for consumption, must stay far from our mouths, and generally become kibble that you feed your dog or cat. Eat the thigh or the rump, but keep that bull anus off my dinner plate. Or, fellatio is sexy. But a woman eating elk dick is Fear Factor, and there is almost nothing grosser in the world. Isn’t that weird? Such a strange oral dichotomy, if you ask me.
Not that you did. But there you go. Good luck unreading all that.
Anyway, my point is, nearly all of us have a fetish for life and a fetish for beer. When you get people like that together, fun and good things can happen. And that’s just one of the many wonderful things that Happy Hour is all about. Beer and life fetishes. Yup.
See you at the bar, you filthy animals.
Cheers!
