This Week for Happy Hour: The Rhino Maneuver

Let’s get serious for a moment: everyone wants a maneuver named after them.  Yet, so few achieve this goal.  Literally, more people have a Nobel Prize than their own maneuver.

That’s why Henry Heimlich and his maneuver are so impressive.  Today, June 1^st, is Heimlich Maneuver Day!  I know, it’s very exciting.  But try to stay calm and regulate your breathing or you’ll choke on your macaroni salad.

Rhino Bar is celebrating Heimlich Maneuver Day with half-priced drinks and food today 5-9pm for Happy Hour!  Come on down, eat, drink, approach potential choking victims from the rear.  And while you’re regaling at the white marble, here is your assignment: develop a Rhino Maneuver.  Give your favorite bar something more valuable than a Nobel Prize.  Its very own Maneuver!

Here are some inspirational ideas:

-Incorporate taking a shot into a series of awkward physical movements, during which you say, “Teach me how to Rhino, teach me teach me how to Rhino.”

-Pantomime a rhino horn with your hand and charge the abdomen of possible choking victims.  Have a friend narrate the event, explaining that it is a territorial dispute.

-Perform a regular Heimlich Maneuver, but only to the beat of the music.  If some 80’s monster ballad is on or if Peter Frampton is talk-boxing to the crowd, then too bad for the choking victim.  The Rhino Maneuver is a fickle bitch.

-Pay with cash.

-Snort aggressively like a Rhino at anyone who orders a mojito or endorses illegal poaching.

-Do anything, after which you say with a stuffy British accent, “Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.”

Can’t wait to see what you brilliant, beautiful babies come up with!

See you there!

Cheers!