This Week for Happy Hour: Apparently Lips are More than a Shot Glass Cushion

Sometimes we kiss.  Sometimes the mood strikes us and we touch the tips of our feeding tubes together, and if it’s a good one, we get tingles.  Europeans do that double-tap kiss hello thing.  So do Americans who recently traveled to Europe and think it’s just okay to still do.  Puppies open-mouth kiss everyone, even minors, and it’s perfectly legal.  Hey, sometimes we kiss.

But today, my friends, is not sometimes.  Today, July 6^th, is International Kissing Day!!  Let the kissing begin!

Come to Half-Price Happy Hour at Rhino, from 5-9pm today, and celebrate all kinds of kissing.  Wet kisses, dry kisses, French kisses, single-lip kisses, Eskimo kisses (are we supposed to call those Inuit kisses now?), and even blown kisses.  Just no butterfly kisses – with the eyelashes, that thing – because those little bitches are fraudulent and lame and they spread pink eye and gross.  Let’s stay classy, Rhino kissers.

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We’ll have “Rock and Roll All Night” by KISS playing on repeat for four hours while booze is cheap as sin.  Everyone will make out like bandits.  Figuratively.  Meaning they will save a lot of money from all the cheap, cheap drinks.  And if you want, make out like bandits literally, which I guess would be where you kiss your kissing partner with pantyhose over your heads.  I don’t know, you’re the kissers.  Kiss!

Kissing party continues upstairs from 9 until close, and resumes Saturday afternoon.  Free shot for the longest kiss, the most passionate kiss, and the best Gene Simmons costume.  

See you there!

Cheers!

Smoochies!