This Week for Happy Hour: The Wine and Spirits of the Olympics

Kick off the 2012 Olympics at Rhino Happy Hour, 5-9pm today!  Half-price food and drinks!

Okay, gotta get this off my chest first.  A few weeks ago the dynamic and preeminent Joey Chestnut won the Nathan’s hot dog eating contest for the 6^th consecutive time, tying Kobayashi for the most consecutive wins. 

Chestnut is the one on the left.

USA takes the gold for the men.  Japan took gold for the women’s division (the infamous “Black Widow” stikes again).  And that’s all fine and dandy.  But here’s the thing.  These people are talented, but, you ask me, they’re nothing but a bunch of Lance Armstrongs.  Not testicular cancer survivors.  I mean they’re cheaters.  That’s right, I said it.  Know why?  Because after each competition they go backstage and orally unload into a half dozen 55-gallon trash cans.  Yech.  I’m not saying they’re not great competitors.  What I’m saying, if that’s not unethical performance enhancement, I don’t know what is.

Imagine somebody claimed they could drink the most beer, and then after each beer they yacked it into the circular file cabinet.  C’mon.  Have you seen Beerfest?  Did those pros keep their business down and grind it out like adults or what?  Of course they did.  They’re not children.

Not children.

So, if you ask me, the real champion of competitive eating is the guy who can keep it down, this man: Manuel Uribe.

Above, Manuel doing his morning pull ups in Monterrey, Mexico.  He can do 100.

If Joey Chestnut wins the 100 meter dash, Manuel Uribe wins the marathon.  The endurance competition.  And he’s all natural, weighing in at over 1200 pounds.  No performance enhancing trash cans, mind you.

Anyway, the point I’m scarcely getting to is this: what makes the Olympics so great is the values and ideals of the Olympic movement.  Fair play and competition with integrity.  Great stories about athletes with real lives who don’t whine about how many millions they will make for moving an air-filled ball from Point A to Point B.  It’s too bad we’ll probably have to see the silly Queen of England (seriously, you Brits still actually have “royalty,” really?) and her stupid little dogs every day, but hey, I’ll take what I can get.  I’m excited.  Woo!

Heading into the opening ceremonies this afternoon, the Gold medal count looks like this:

USA: 1 (Chestnut, Men’s Sprint)

Japan: 1 (The Black Widow, Women’s Sprint)

Mexico: 1 (Uribe, Men’s Endurance)

Let’s have a great 2012 Olympic Games!  Rhino will be showing as many events as the networks will allow, so come in and have a pint and soak it in.  We’ll be open all afternoon on Saturday and Sunday too.

See you there!

Cheers!