Hey er’body! Wow, what a week – so much going on right now. Ryan’s leaving; Lent begins; Black History Month draws to a close. Let’s take this one step at a time, conspicuously trying to make each occasion a reason to raise a glass at the white marble. Shall we?
First, tonight is Ryan’s last happy hour (shift!) at the Rhino. (I’ll give you a moment… Wipe your tear. Yeah, your left cheek. It’s gonna be okay. You okay? Okay…) He’s off to be a super brave fire fighter and the department won’t let him bring his hose to the bar, for some reason. Something about only spraying down buildings that are actually on fire. So make sure to stop by tonight before 9pm to send him off proper. Did somebody suggest lighting Wild Turkey 101 on fire? If you do, you better bring your poncho, ’cause Ryan will soak the first row with his spray gun like it’s Gallagher’s fruit-smashing mallet circa 1993. You’ve been warned.
Moving on… This week is also the beginning of Lent, a time when many Catholics give up something they should probably give up anyway in order to commemorate Jesus’ 40 days of fasting and being tempted by Satan in the desert after his baptism and prior to his teachings, as it goes. I have a few comments on this ritual. First, will somebody please give up lentils for lent? Please? It’s just funny and I can’t do it myself; Satan tempts too strong with the lentils.
Second, while I kind of get the whole idea of prioritizing soul nourishment over physical nourishment, I tend to take issue with implied (and perhaps misapplied, with respect to spirituality) egocentrism in the subject-verb “I am,” as in “I am giving up lentils for lent.” What I mean is, for most major religions, the ego is identified as the problem in the first place, that which fosters self-importance and the separation of the self from the other. And reinforcing the concept of the “I” for 40 days is, I posit, missing the point.
Think about it this way: if you can self-observe, what are you observing? That is, there is an inherent divergence from that which we generally refer to as the “self” when we self-observe. When we self-observe, we orient ourselves as the observer, which is disconnected from the observed, which is somehow still us. More specifically, the ego tends to observe the consciousness or the consciousness tends to observe the ego. When you find yourself self-observing, you can usually tell which is in the driver’s seat pretty easily.
In the case of Lent, folks try to observe/check their ego through self-sacrifice, with the goal of spiritual growth, which is ultimately a great idea. But is there more efficient road from point A to point B? How else can we challenge the ego? Well, you know I’m gonna say it: alcohol. …and a new religion is born. Ha! Stay with me…
Okay, you know how booze can kind of thin the filter between the ego and the consciousness? I mean, where your personality would normally interrupt ego-driven impulse, the addition of booze can sort of weaken the defenses of the personality to the intervening ego. Ever have your butt pinched at a bar? That’s somebody’s ego that’s broken through and taken over, or in layman’s terms, an asshole. Or maybe it was just your boyfriend, or maybe it was for purposes of pure comedy, or whatever – but you know what I’m saying.
Anyway, if the point is to check the ego – to exercise the muscle that keeps the ego at bay – then the conscious introduction of alcohol to the mind is like weight training. It’s like how in baseball, the hitter puts a weight on his bat while he’s on deck and takes a few cuts so that once he’s at the plate, he’s got a quick stick. Same thing with the sweet, sweet booze. Drink a whole bunch and be mindful of yourself. If you can keep your ego in check while you’re blitzkrieg blasted on a bottle of bourbon, then the force is strong with you, my friend, and Satan’s temptations – booze, not among them – will be dealt with handily long after the 40 days of Lent have come and gone, and when you’re sober you’ll be like a goddam Jedi. At least, that’s my Lenten goal: to do drunken warfare with my ego. My beer is my light saber. Join me!
Wow, we went deep there for a bit. If you’re still with me, kudos. You will now be rewarded with Rhino’s booze-fueled (literally) commemoration of Black History Month: a wonderful informational video about abolitionist Frederick Douglass featuring Will Ferrell and Don Cheadle, as narrated by a really, really drunk girl. Enjoy!
Half-price Happy Hour 5-9pm, and the party continues upstairs all night. Saturday afternoon, stop by for some delicious drinks, good tunes, fun times, friends, and optional consciousness weight training.
See you all this weekend!
Cheers!
Michael Stwarka gave up being tall for lent.
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